Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
