ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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