Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize