were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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