her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
