whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
