This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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