Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
