Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
