Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
