the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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