I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You're a waste of cheezeits
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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