Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
