I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
