He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
