I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
