it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
