We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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