i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize