ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize