1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
