I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
