he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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