mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
