Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
