In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
