Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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