so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize