if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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