even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
