If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
