i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
