She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
