Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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