haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
