If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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