Having a random hookup so left but love u
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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