The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
