i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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