Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
