Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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