i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can I color on your dick again?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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