btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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