he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
