Your dad touched me again.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
