Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
