Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
