Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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