I accidentally burped into my bong.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
