Me too!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
