At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I want is dick and wine.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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