I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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