Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
