I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
