All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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