mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
