She is in my trunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I am one with the molecules
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
