yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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