im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
