At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize