I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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