White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
