I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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