Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
