I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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