Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
