South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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