She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
