is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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