lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
