the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
